I’m going to guarantee that you’re putting other people’s needs first before your own. I’m going to guarantee that you haven’t taken responsibility for your own self-care and that you’re choosing to neglect it. In this blog post not only am I going to get real with you and tell you how it is, I am going to give you free list of 20 feel good, no cost self-care ideas that will get you started.
Before I explain why, here is some back story!
During my time as a worker at Child Protection Services, a work colleague approached me for help. Looking back on that interaction it was clear that she was doing her best considering the circumstances and doing her absolute best to hold everything together. Throughout the conversation things were beginning to move on quickly. The list of things that she had to do was becoming bigger, more decisions were needing to be thought through and made and I could see that things were quickly spiraling out of control for her. She burst into tears, which is unlike her, and told me that she was feeling very overwhelmed and everything was becoming too much.
Not too long ago I was in the same position as my work colleague. Being in tears was a daily occurrence. I wasn’t sleeping at night and I was thinking non-stop about the next strategic move I needed to make in order to get the best outcome for the client that I was working with at the time. I knew things were not okay. I knew that I was beginning to become unwell. Yet I forced myself to keep going. Little did I know that at the time I was well and truly down the path of sickness, both physically and mentally.
When I reflect on what was happening at the time, I remember my choices were based on unhealthy values. I didn’t want to inconvenience anybody or put anybody out and I thought that the clients and the team needed me to be there to function. I didn’t want to let the clients that I was working with down and I didn’t want to let the team down by causing additional pressure to what they were already experiencing. I see now that these were unhealthy values. Whether I like it or not the world still moves on whether I’m working in it or not. There were other people to make sure that the kids I was working with were safe. I wasn’t any good for anybody and I was a burden on my colleagues who spent a lot of time literally picking me up off the floor (in tears).
It was time to make a realistic choice. I could choose to try and keep going and survive by emotionally disconnecting from my feelings and my body or I could choose to put my needs first, take care of myself the way that I needed to be taken care of and make some changes that were in my control. Realistically, I didn’t have to continue putting up with living like that and I chose not too.
If you’re ready to make a realistic choice I have a list of 20 feel good, no cost self-care ideas to get you started. They’re simple ideas but have maximum impact.
Whether you like it or not, you are responsible for everything that happens in your life. What I mean by this is that you’re not responsible for the choices that other people make, their behaviour or the things that they do to you, but you are responsible for how you interpret everything that happens to you and how you respond to it. You always get to choose how you see things, how you react to things, how you place value on things and what those values are.
We are always making choices, consciously and subconsciously. We’re always making meaning of everything that happens in our lives. We’re always interpreting every moment and every occurrence of every day and our interpretations are based on what we value and our personal beliefs.
You are choosing to read this blog post (thank you!). You are choosing to hit close when you’ve had enough. You’re choosing to keep the same old destructive habits in your life. You’re choosing to care too much about what other people think. You’re choosing to continue feeling stuck. You’re choosing to listen to that negative self-talk. You’re choosing to not give yourself the care that you need.
When you begin to take responsibility and accept responsibility for things that happen in your life, the more power you have over your life and the more empowered you will feel. Its when you begin to do this you begin to fully grow and be the best woman that you can be.
So, what does all of this mean for self-care. Well, nobody else is going to give you the care that you need. You are ultimately responsible for that. You need to make the choice as to whether you’re going give your mind and body everything that it needs.
This means that when you are feeling tired, you’re feeling suffocated, your feeling overwhelmed, you’re crying more and when your body is trying to tell you that things are not okay and that we’re not keeping our needs, you need to make the choice as to whether you’re going to take responsibility and make a change. It’s not enough to simply recognise and acknowledge that things aren’t okay. You have to choose whether you’re going to do something about it.
You’re living in a society where the expectation is that you need to be on the go 24/7. Society thinks that you need to fill every waking moment of your life with busy-ness and its almost socially unacceptable to take time out. It’s not that you don’t have time. You’re choosing to tell yourself that you don’t have the time or you’re choosing to not make the time.
So the next time you notice that you’re feeling tired, you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, that you’re crying or yelling more take some responsibility and make a choice.
Here’s to finding your best you.